ThesocialpsychologistFestinger(Festinger)hasawell-knownjudgment,whichiscalled"Festinger'sLaw":10%oflifeismadeupofthingsthathappentoyou,andtheother90%Isdeterminedbyhowyoureactedtowhathappened. Inotherwords,10%ofthingsinlifearebeyondourcontrol,whiletheother90%arebeyondourcontrol.Festingergavesuchanexampleinthebook. WhenKastingotupinthemorningtowashup,heputhishigh-endwatchnexttothesink.Hiswifewasafraidofgettingwet,sohetookitandputitonthediningtable.Whenthesongotuptopickupbreadonthediningtable,heaccidentallyhitthewatchonthegroundandbrokeit. KasiDinglovewatches,didashisson'sassbeatOneDayton.ThenhescoldedhiswifeYitongwithadarkface.Thewifewasnotconvinced,sayingthatshewasafraidthatthewatermightwetthewatch.Castingsaidhiswatchiswaterproof. Sothetwoquarreledviolently.Angrily,Castinedidn'teatbreakfast,anddrovedirectlytothecompany.Whenhewasapproachingthecompany,hesuddenlyrememberedthatheforgottotakethebriefcase,andimmediatelywenthome. Buttherewasnooneathome,hiswifewenttowork,andhissonwenttoschool.Casting'skeywasleftinhisbriefcase.Hecouldn'tgetin,sohehadtocallhiswifetoaskforthekey. Whenthewifehurriedhomeinapanic,sheknockedovertheroadsidefruitstall.Thestallownerstoppedherfromlettinghergoandaskedhertopaycompensation.Shehadtoloseasumofmoneytogetridofit. Aftergettingthebriefcase,Castingwas15minuteslate.Afterbeingseverelycriticizedbyhisboss,Casting'smoodwasextremelybad.Beforeleavinggetoffwork,Ihadaquarrelwithmycolleaguebecauseofaminorincident. Hiswifewasalsodeductedfromthefullattendanceawardofthemonthforleavingearly.Hissonparticipatedinabaseballgamethatday.Hewasexpectedtowinthechampionship,buthewasinabadmoodandplayedpoorly.Hewaseliminatedinthefirstgame. Inthiscase,brokenwatchesaccountedfor10%,andthenextseriesofeventsaccountedfortheother90%. Itwasallduetothefactthatthepersonconcerneddidnotcontrolthe90%well,whichcausedthisdaytobecomea"dayoftrouble". ImagineifCastingchangedthereactionafterthe10%wasproduced.Forexample,hecomfortedhisson:"Itdoesn'tmatter,son,it’sokayifthewatchbroke,I’lltakeittorepairit."Thenthesonishappy,hiswifeishappy,andheisinagoodmood,soeverythingthatfollowswillnothappen.Up. Itcanbeseenthatyoucannotcontrolthefirst10%,butyoucancompletelydeterminetheremaining90%throughyourmentalityandbehavior.在現實生活中，常聽人抱怨：我怎麽就這麽不走運呢，每天總有壹些倒黴的事纏著我，怎樣就不讓我消停壹下有個好心情呢，誰能幫幫我？這都是壹個心態問題。其實能幫助自己的不是他人，而是自己。倘若了解並能熟練運用“費斯汀格法則”處事，壹切問題就迎刃而解了。延伸閱讀：停止抱怨的力量是多麽強大！有壹個作家出差時，無意中坐了壹輛非常有特色的出租車。這輛出租車的司機穿著幹凈，車裏也非常幹凈。作家剛剛坐穩，就收到司機遞來的壹張精美卡片，卡片上寫著：“在友好的氛圍中，將我的客人最快捷，最安全，最省錢地送達目的地。”看到這句話，作家來了興趣，便和司機攀談了起來。司機說：“請問，妳要喝點什麽嗎？”作家詫異：“這輛車上難道還提供喝的嗎？”司機微笑著說：“對，我不但提供咖啡，還有各種飲料，而且還有不同的報紙。”作家說：“那我能要杯熱咖啡嗎？”司機從容地從旁邊的保溫杯裏倒了壹杯熱咖啡給這個作家。然後又給了作家壹張卡片，卡片上是各種報紙的名稱和各個電臺的節目單。只見上面寫道《時代周刊》《體育報》《今日美國》……簡直太全面了。作家沒有看報，也沒有聽音樂。而是和司機攀談了起來。其間這個司機善意的詢問這個作家，車裏的溫度是否合適，離目的地還有條更近的路是否要走。作家簡直覺得溫馨極了。這個司機對作家說：“其實，剛開始的時候，我的車並沒有提供如此全面的服務。我像其他人壹樣，愛抱怨，糟糕的天氣，微薄的收入，堵車嚴重得壹塌糊塗的路況，每天都過得很糟糕。有壹天，我偶然在廣播裏聽到壹個故事，改變了我的觀念。那個廣播節目請了勵誌大師韋恩·戴爾博士，讓博士來介紹他的新書。書中重點闡述了壹個觀點，停止抱怨、停止在日常生活中的抱怨，會讓任何人走向成功。他讓我突然醒悟，我目前糟糕的情況其實都是自己抱怨造成的。所以決定停止抱怨，開始改變。第壹年，我只是微笑地對待所有的乘客，我的收入就翻了壹倍。第二年，我發自內心地去關心所有乘客的喜怒哀樂，並對他們進行寬慰，這讓我收入更加翻了壹翻。第三年，也就是今年，我讓我的出租車變成了全美國都少有的五星級出租車。除了我的收入，上漲的還有我的人氣，現在要坐我的車，都需要提前打電話預約。而您，其實是我順路搭載的壹個乘客。這位出租車司機的話，讓這個作家驚訝極了。作家不禁反思自身，其實在日常生活中，自己何嘗不是抱怨很多。他決定改變自己，他將這個司機的故事寫成壹本書。後來有讀者受到啟發後試著去做了，生活真的發生了改變。這種改變讓作家知道了，停止抱怨的力量是多麽的強大。俗話說車到山前必有路，只要有突破困境的願望，改變抱怨的態度，積極地去做當下應該做的事情，那麽就壹定能突破困難，繼續向追求的目標前進。讓我們下定決心，丟掉抱怨的惡習吧！

In other words, 10% of things in life are beyond our control, while the other 90% are beyond our control.

Festinger gave such an example in the book.

When Kastin got up in the morning to wash up, he put his high-end watch next to the sink. His wife was afraid of getting wet, so he took it and put it on the dining table. When the son got up to pick up bread on the dining table, he accidentally hit the watch on the ground and broke it.

Kasi Ding love watches, did as his son's ass beat One Dayton. Then he scolded his wife Yitong with a dark face. The wife was not convinced, saying that she was afraid that the water might wet the watch. Casting said his watch is waterproof.

So the two quarreled violently. Angrily, Castine didn't eat breakfast, and drove directly to the company. When he was approaching the company, he suddenly remembered that he forgot to take the briefcase, and immediately went home.

But there was no one at home, his wife went to work, and his son went to school. Casting's key was left in his briefcase. He couldn't get in, so he had to call his wife to ask for the key.

When the wife hurried home in a panic, she knocked over the roadside fruit stall. The stall owner stopped her from letting her go and asked her to pay compensation. She had to lose a sum of money to get rid of it.

After getting the briefcase, Casting was 15 minutes late. After being severely criticized by his boss, Casting's mood was extremely bad. Before leaving get off work, I had a quarrel with my colleague because of a minor incident.

His wife was also deducted from the full attendance award of the month for leaving early. His son participated in a baseball game that day. He was expected to win the championship, but he was in a bad mood and played poorly. He was eliminated in the first game.

In this case, broken watches accounted for 10%, and the next series of events accounted for the other 90%.

It was all due to the fact that the person concerned did not control the 90% well, which caused this day to become a "day of trouble".

Imagine if Casting changed the reaction after the 10% was produced. For example, he comforted his son: "It doesn't matter, son, it’s okay if the watch broke, I’ll take it to repair it." Then the son is happy, his wife is happy, and he is in a good mood, so everything that follows will not happen. Up.

It can be seen that you cannot control the first 10%, but you can completely determine the remaining 90% through your mentality and behavior.

In real life, people often complain: Why am I so unlucky? There are always some unlucky things haunting me every day. How can I not let me stop and have a good mood? Who can help me?

This is all a question of mentality. In fact, it is not others who can help oneself, but oneself. If you understand and use the "Festinger's Law" skillfully, all problems will be solved.

Further reading: How powerful is the power to stop complaining!

When a writer was on a business trip, he accidentally took a very distinctive taxi. The driver of this taxi is dressed clean and the car is very clean.

As soon as the writer sat down, he received a beautiful card from the driver. The card read: "In a friendly atmosphere, deliver my guests to their destinations in the fastest, safest, and most economical way."

Seeing this sentence, the writer became interested and started talking with the driver.

The driver said: "Excuse me, do you want something to drink?" The writer was surprised: "Is there any drink in this car?"

The driver smiled and said: "Yes, I not only serve coffee, but also various drinks, but also different newspapers." The writer said, "Can I have a cup of hot coffee?" The driver calmly poured from the thermos next to it. I gave the writer a cup of hot coffee. Then he gave the writer a card with the names of various newspapers and the program lists of various radio stations. I saw the words "Time", "Sports", and "USA Today" written above... it was simply too comprehensive.

The writer did not read the newspaper or listen to music. Instead, they started talking with the driver. In the meantime, the driver kindly asked the writer whether the temperature in the car was right and whether there was a closer way to the destination. The writer feels so warm.

The driver said to the author: "Actually, at the beginning, my car did not provide such a comprehensive service. Like everyone else, I love complaining, bad weather, meager income, and traffic jams are so serious. The road conditions are very bad every day. One day, I accidentally heard a story on the radio that changed my mind. The radio program invited the inspirational master Dr. Wayne Dale, and asked the doctor to introduce his new book.

The book focuses on the point that stopping complaining and stopping complaining in daily life will make anyone succeed.

He made me suddenly realize that my current bad situation is actually caused by my own complaints. So decided to stop complaining and start to change.

In the first year, I just treated all the passengers with a smile, and my income doubled.

In the second year, I cared about the joys, sorrows, sorrows and joys of all passengers from the bottom of my heart, and comforted them, which made my income more than doubled.

In the third year, this year, I turned my taxi into a five-star taxi that is rare in the United States. In addition to my income, my popularity has risen. If you want to take my car, you need to call ahead to make an appointment. And you are actually a passenger that I took along the way.

The words of the taxi driver surprised the writer. The writer can't help but reflect on himself. In fact, in daily life, he complains a lot.

He decided to change himself. He wrote the driver's story into a book. Later, some readers tried to do it after being inspired, and their lives really changed. This change let the writer know how powerful the power to stop complaining is.

As the saying goes, there must be a way for the car to reach the mountain. As long as you have the desire to break through the difficulties, change your complaining attitude, and actively do what you should do now, you will definitely be able to break through the difficulties and continue to pursue your goals.

Let us make up our minds and let go of the vice of complaining!

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